Switchback Fair

Switchback Fair’s ghost ride was reopening after the end of a prolonged period of industrial action by Neville the Ghost. The strike dated back to an unwelcome visit from Glenda Kneerot, the fair’s treasurer.

‘Woo woo!’ Neville said, leaping out from the ceiling in a special effort for the VIP. He rattled his chains diligently.

‘Ah Neville, there you are!’ said Kneerot. ‘May I have a word?’

Neville was put out by the lack of even a polite scream, but he floated down to join her.

‘Now Neville, I’m sure you know that these are difficult times for the fair,’ said Kneerot.

‘I’ve been through worse,’ said Neville. ‘Have I ever told you what happened to me in the civil war?’

‘Some other time, perhaps,’ said Kneerot.

‘Woo woo!’ said Neville desultorily.

‘Anyway,’ said Kneerot, batting away an inflatable skeleton, ‘we’ve all got to pull together to make ends meet. I myself will be forgoing my Swedish masseur for the whole of July.’

Neville mumbled approval while checking that the bats had been fed and watered for the morning.

‘We’ll need you to contribute as well, of course,’ Kneerot continued. ‘So I’ve come to ask you to accept a 20% pay cut.’

In his shock Neville let go of the cage door and the bats flew out joyfully around the ride.

‘Woo woo!’ he said. ‘Come back bats!’

‘Are you listening, Neville?’ said Kneerot.

But Neville was too busy coaxing the bats back into the cage. Kneerot’s car trundled round the corner and out of the ride, and Neville convinced himself that the conversation was just a figment of his imagination.

The strike began when he received his next pay packet. Neville angrily pulled off his chains and went outside to form a picket.

‘Woo woo!’ he said. ‘Support your hard-working ghosts!’. Next to him a baby bat was holding a placard that read: HUNGRY, PLEASE HELP.

But the crowds didn’t help. They mostly ran away, as terrified as usual. Neville eventually accepted that he would never be able to truly withhold his labour. He reluctantly went inside and put his chains back on.

The next day, Glenda Kneerot was given the fright of her life when she discovered an inflatable skeleton in her wardrobe.